


You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Advent Calendar, Advent Calendar Drabble, Advent Challenge 2011, Children, Christmas, Gen, Inspired by Music, Magic, The Grinch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-21
Updated: 2011-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-10 07:01:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/463515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wilson finds the ducklings surprised with House's actions</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

**Author's Note:**

> Advent Calendar Day 21

Wilson was almost to his office when he heard a commotion in the diagnostics lounge and peeked in. Chase, Cameron, and Foreman were talking agitatedly, and House was nowhere to be found. Checking his watch, Wilson began to get a very good idea of where House was, and an inkling of what had the Ducklings so upset.

With a sigh, he abandoned his office and headed for the elevator. Down on the second floor, he heard the giggling before he got close, and he knew he was right. At the door, he found Nurse Brenda watching, bemused, and joined her.

"So what happened?" he asked, as House pulled a card from the deck and showed it to the laughing patients.

"Apparently the magician double booked our Christmas party, and he chose the better paying gig," she replied with a touch of rancor.

Wilson nodded in understanding. "And how'd you get him to substitute?"

"Dr. Cuddy complained about it in front of him and then refused to let him near the children for fear that he might corrupt them."

This time she and Wilson shared a grin for the deft maneuvering of their resident manchild. "Well then I'll leave him alone. Wouldn't want him changing his mind." Wilson decided. He'd also have a conversation with the ducklings, to make sure that they didn't say anything inopportune.

Brenda nodded and continued to watch as House drew a stethoscope out from behind one child's ear.

Wilson returned to the diagnostics lounge and found the younger doctors still upset. Blithely, he opened the door and asked, "Have you guys seen House?"

"Yes!" Cameron declared excitedly. "He's doing _magic tricks_ for the children down in pediatrics!"

"Oh? Hn. I guess I'll talk to him later then." James turned to go.

"Wait. Don’t you think that's a little odd?" Cameron hurried to add.

"He is always talking about how much he hates magicians, and kids, and doing unselfish things," Foreman added smugly.

Wilson frowned. "He's not the Grinch of Whoville, you know," he protested mildly.

Foreman shrugged, unconvinced, but Cameron quickly replied. "We know that, but it just seems a little out of character."

"Maybe his heart grew two sizes today," Foreman half joked.

"So what were you planning on doing about it?" Wilson asked, chosing to ignore the jibe.

"Nothing," Chase muttered, clearly unwilling to get involved. "Whatever his motivations are either don't concern us or will become apparent soon enough if they do."

"Mocking," Foreman replied easily.

"We need to see if something is wrong!" Cameron insisted.

Wilson quickly did the mental calculations and decided that House could handle their intentions. "Well, I'm sure if you think about it, House has only mocked magicians who act as though magic is real, rather than stage trickery. And you might wonder what Cuddy bribed him with to replace the one who backed out of the peds Christmas party."

As all three developed speculative looks, Wilson left the lounge, hiding his own smile. Those tidbits would make things a little more interesting for House for the next few days, and once he traced them back to Wilson, it might make him think twice about stealing his roast beast- er, roast beef sandwich from the fridge.

**Author's Note:**

> Actually, I think that House would make a very good grinch, especially if they did a version for the peds ward, but the muse wasn't so much interested in that direction.
> 
> And the song: You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch
> 
> You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch  
> You really are a heel  
> You’re as cuddly as a cactus  
> You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch
> 
> You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel!
> 
> You're a monster, Mr. Grinch  
> Your heart's an empty hole  
> Your brain is full of spiders  
> You’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch
> 
> I wouldn’t touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole!
> 
> You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch  
> You have termites in your smile  
> You have all the tender sweetness  
> Of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch
> 
> Given the choice between the two of you I’d take the seasick crocodile!
> 
> You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch  
> You’re a nasty wasty skunk  
> Your heart is full of unwashed socks,  
> Your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch
> 
> The 3 words that best describe you, are as follows, and I quote  
> Stink, Stank, Stonk
> 
> You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch  
> You’re the king of sinful sots  
> Your heart's a dead tomato  
> Splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch
> 
> Your sole is an appalling dump heap  
> Overflowing with the most disgraceful  
> Assortment of deplorable rubbish  
> Imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots
> 
> You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch  
> With a nauseous super naus  
> You’re a crooked jerky jockey and  
> You drive a crooked horse, Mr. Grinch
> 
> You’re a 3 Decker sour kraut and toad stool sandwich  
> With arsenic sauce!


End file.
